Prayerful Listening for Life
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by Ann Grizzle
After sitting in silence around a single candle flame for twenty minutes together, "Carol" slowing begins sharing. She talks of renovating her house, the stresses, her anger and frustrations. No one responds with easy identification, quick sympathy or lighthearted joking. All remain quiet, listening, prayerful. And so she goes on, this competent attorney, delving down into the feelings of helplessness in trying to keep the finances organized or the house straight when there are needs beyond just hers alone. Still no one reacts except with continued listening hearts.She pauses and then describes a poignant spiritual revelation that has come to her in the midst of this--a sudden lightness realizing that God understands her particular weaknesses, accepts her and wants her to rely on him in these areas of helplessness. Though simple, this deep realization brings her to tears.
The group waits, prayerfully, with a shared intensity of heart in the midst of the silence. And then she says "that's all," sighs, and all breathe into a space of silent prayer. Only after many minutes of quiet does one member venture to offer a few words that came in prayer: "I created you and I love you." Another member speaks an almost identical thought that came in an image--a father embracing his daughter with her own peculiarities and saying, "I love you, you, just the way you are." Another listener speaks of the thought which came in her prayer that we never complete our house or life remodelings, that we must learn to accept that we are always in process, and the process itself must be lived. Another acknowledges the newfound relief and peace that she senses from Carol.
The content of the sharing in group spiritual direction can begin with ordinary events--house renovation, a new job, frustration over a child's poor behavior, thoughts for an upcoming class. Yet the atmosphere of silent, prayerful listening invites the speakers to move deeper and to observe the effect in their soul, in their relationship with God of the events of their lives. The large amounts and regular intervals of silence leave much space for God, without great answers or insights quickly offered by anyone. So the speakers learn in the process how to listen to their own souls before God.
In addition to listening to God regarding her/his own journey, each member spends much of the group time as a spiritual director or, more accurately, a spiritual listener for the other members. Listeners have to learn to stifle and still the quick reassurance, the easy identification or telling of a similar story. They must learn to sit in silence together before God--prayerful, listening. The silence invites them to pray deeper, to listen into the heart of God for God's heart response and then to softly share.
At first this can be awkward, unfamiliar territory. The leader must hush chatting, immediate reacting, easy reassuring and invite everyone to provide a still, listening pond for the speaker to descend down to the soul's stirrings below the surface. After the speaker ends, a return to silence makes listeners go to God for response, to slowly savor the taste of divine flavoring for whatever is on the plate.
As I have facilitated a spiritual direction group for the last year and a half, I have watched a wonderful formation occurring. After many meetings, members have learned to still typical reactive, personal responses and instead sit quietly with one another, to develop a listening attitude, to hear God along with the other. Month after month, this becomes gradually more familiar, more comfortable and eventually refreshing for members who come from a busy, multi-tasking, competitive environment.
Group spiritual direction, beyond offering members a forum for their own spiritual reflections, becomes a schooling for a spiritual way of listening in the world. Not only the initial silence but the pace of listening, the return to silence between words, the quiet presence of these two hours becomes a training ground to go out into the world with a different approach. It develops in its members an ability to be a still listener, to trust silence as an opening to go deeper, and prayerful presence as more bonding than quick reacting. Just as one learns that the fruit of silent centering prayer comes not so much in the time of meditation itself as in the rest of one's life, so too it seems likely that a major fruit of group spiritual direction comes not in the time itself but in the peaceful listening presence it cultivates in members as they go out into the world of activity and relationships. After each group, I can imagine these listening hearts going out with an ear still attuned to God whether in friendship conversations, hospital visits or cocktail gatherings.
Ann is in Shalem's Facilitating Group Spiritual Direction, Class of 2003. This article is taken from one of her program papers.
© 2008 The Shalem Institute.