Thinning
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by Carole Crumley
There is a Winnie the Pooh story that keeps coming to my mind. Pooh has gone to visit his friend Rabbit. It isn't easy for Pooh to visit Rabbit because getting through Rabbit's front door--a small hole in the ground--is a big challenge for such a portly bear. This particular visit is well worth the effort, however, for Rabbit brings out a big jar of honey and Pooh eats (rather overeats) to his heart's content.Then comes the bigger challenge for Pooh-getting back out through Rabbit's front door after such a hearty meal. To his dismay, Pooh gets stuck! The north side of Pooh is outside the hole and the south side of Pooh is inside Rabbit's living room. No amount of pushing or pulling can unstick the overstuffed bear.
Christopher Robin is called. Upon arriving, he looks at Pooh and knows what must be done. Pooh must thin. No food. Nothing to eat for a week. Pooh is despondent. So Christopher Robin promises to stay with him and to read stories until thinning has happened, stories "such that would comfort a Bear wedged in a very tight place."
I think about Pooh and know how easy it is to get stuck in a very tight place. This stuckness usually happens for me when, like Pooh, I overindulge in some way. And not always on things that taste sweet.
Lately I realized that I have overindulged in the news. Breakfast is accompanied by the morning paper and images of death, destruction and mourning. Dinner is preceded by the evening news and stories of more death, destruction and mourning. Increasingly I find myself stuck in the very tight place of my opinions and judgements, anger and frustration--wedged in by the multiple situations of intractable conflict in the world.
Recently I began waking up with my teeth clenched and my jaw set. When I complained to my dentist, he asked if anything at work was stressful. "No." Anything at home? "No." Actually he said that he could treat the aching jaw but not the causes. That was for me to figure out.
So after looking back over the landscape of my life, I decided to eat less news. In fact, to go on a news-free diet for several weeks. In other words, to thin.
This is what I noticed.
Letting go of my need for news has allowed an interior spaciousness to arise so that the hardness of my judgments seems to soften; the darkness of my frustrations seems to grow lighter; and my opinions seem to turn into questions and wonderings. I found that my prayer has become more a container for holding the opposites of a conflict together. Rather than having to choose sides, there seems to be a place in prayer that is beyond rightness and wrongness, a place where everything is held together.
This doesn't feel like avoiding the pain and sorrow of the world. But it does feel like there is more possibility of tasting something that is of God in the midst of the pain and suffering.
This thinning is far from over. You see I've been overindulging for a long time. But I'm taking my clues from Pooh. Tonight I will go with friends to a storytelling performance. My jaw softens just thinking about it.
© 2008 The Shalem Institute.