Having Tea with the Dalai Lama, Mother Teresa, BB King, and Reginald
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by Lisa Richey
My mother was an English war bride. One of the many magical British traditions she brought to our family was afternoon tea time. This became the time that she and I would discuss Life, work, school and other adventures. I still see Life as an adventure and certainly still love tea time.My father, on the other hand, was an Ohio-raised military man. While the time my mother and I shared was at about 4:15 each afternoon, my connecting time with my father was at 5 a.m. over Grape Nuts. Each morning he was home, we would sit across our avocado green kitchen counter and tell each other about the miracles we'd seen the day before. I still look for the miracles and still try to love Grape Nuts.
These two childhood memories are the foundation of my spiritual walk. Both gave me the gift of unconditional love, undivided attention and afforded me the chance to learn to pay attention. My childhood was one of those abnormally ordinary ones. I was taught that to love and to accept love exactly as it's given was all any of us could hope to do with our lives.
This foundation prepared me for the pilgrimage of love, marriage, divorce, work, death, disease: for Life. It also taught me how to pay attention. I have to admit though, sometimes I wish I didn't pay so much attention. There are times I wish I was oblivious to how I've messed-up and how I've hurt the people I love. I seem to spend a lot of energy repenting these things. Let me clarify, to me, repenting doesn't mean saying, "I did wrong." That's confessing. It doesn't mean saying, "I'm really, really, really sorry." That's apologizing. Repenting doesn't mean saying, "I'll never do that again." That's promising. It's not even just changing the appearance of what I'm doing. That's re-painting. To me, repenting is changing the way I walk, so I'm paying attention to the Path. Repenting is tough. It's Authentic.
That's where the Dalai Lama, Mother Teresa, B.B. King and Reginald, the guy who hangs out at the gas station come in. These are all people to whom I've paid attention and who've helped reinforce the lesson my parents taught me: Life happens, and all any of us can do is stay on the Path and love our way through it. There have been countless other people who've helped, but for me, these folks symbolize everyone with whom I've shared some time on the Path.
The Dalai Lama is there to gently point me back to the Center when I get off course. He, Thich Nhat Hanh and Lao Tzu are there to give me a new frame of reference for my cradle Episcopalian tools of coping. They've all used different words to express what I've been reading in the Book of Common Prayer for as long as I can remember.
Mother Teresa has been there to shake me into understanding that I must be willing to take the first steps of my new way of walking. She, Teresa of Avila and Julian of Norwich show me that, if I want a closer relationship with God, every one of my steps must be toward Him (and Her! Bless Julian's mixed pronouns!).
B.B.King: well, what can I say? Even though he may not be on the list of top ten spiritual leaders, he has helped me accept humanity more than any other musician (except maybe Eric Clapton, but that's another story). Learning to pay attention at an early age helped me love music. And not many things help me get back to God faster than a good blues guitar player.
Then there's Reginald, the guy who hangs out at the gas station. He's 92 years old. He's usually at the corner of the building with a cup of gray coffee in his right hand, a warm smile in his eyes and a new perspective on Life whenever it's asked for. The other day I asked him what's been concerning him most lately and he told me, "Hugs. We need to remember to be the last one to let go."
My recent experience with Shalem's Personal Spiritual Deepening Program (PSDP) also has supported this mission of paying attention to the Path. The PSDP has coached me through the reality that Life's lessons of walking in a new way seldom come with syllabus. However, when I'm paying attention, they do come with countless teachers and often with a great cup of tea.
Lisa is a graduate of Shalem's Personal Spiritual Deepening Program, 1999.
© 2008 The Shalem Institute.