by Gerald May

Recently a spiritual director e-mailed me asking advice. He suggested a newsletter article and gave me permission to excerpt our correspondence, though I have changed both his identity and that of the institutions with which he's associated.

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Dear Jerry: I have been working as a spiritual director out of The Center ever since I retired from The Other Center nearly ten years ago. Today I got a "Covenant of Ministry" that I and each of the ten people I listen to must read, sign and send to The Center for their records. I also was sent a two-page "Code of Ethics and Conduct for Healing Prayer Ministers and Spiritual Directors" plus a two-page "Guidelines for Spiritual Directors." This is all new stuff, and I don't object to the principle of the new arrangement. But I do have a couple of issues about which I would like some advice.

First, I have never revealed the names of the people I listen to. I am troubled by this requirement and will say something to the people at The Center. How do you feel about this practice? The Center says they want to know just how effective this ministry is. I think I could give them a head count to satisfy that. Maybe it is about insurance. I'll ask.

The second issue is that I am supposed to seek "agreement from a therapist or counselor when spiritual guidance is to be provided to a client." And I am supposed to encourage the directee to release the therapist so that he or she may speak freely with me. I am currently listening to two people who are in therapy, and the issues are tough. I don't feel the need to ask about anything my directee tells the therapist. Should I need permission to continue spiritual direction for fear of disrupting the therapeutic relationship? I think of this as such a confidential relationship that I tell no one about it. It seems I am being asked to change. Is this something new in spiritual direction that is needed for one reason or another and I should do it?

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Hi, Chris: I'm sorry to hear about all those "professionalizing" changes. I feel very strongly about such things. My own advice-and what I would do-is to have no association at all with any of the policies you are questioning, nor with any organization that institutes them. They are not only a violation of the confidentiality that has always been a part of Christian spiritual direction, but they violate the very essence on which spiritual direction is based-namely, that the Holy Spirit is the true spiritual guide. Further, they contradict the basic operating principle on which I feel spiritual companionships are based: that the "locus of discernment" is in the directee, not the director. In other words, the spiritual life of the directee is the business of that person and God, and no one else's. If the directee chooses to invite me to be a temporary companion in that process, then that's a privilege the directee is giving to me. My only discernment should be whether or not God is also inviting me into that companionship. No one else should be involved in any way.

I do understand where the professional stuff is coming from. People and organizations are afraid of lawsuits and are burned by all the horrible stories of abuse,etc. They also think of it as a business, which they want to conduct responsibly. But they seem to have no models for spiritual direction other than that of the modern counseling professional. They can't help but think of spiritual direction as a "service" provided by some kind of "qualified expert." This is often complicated when the directee is expected to pay a "fee for service."

But understanding does not constitute agreement nor, for me, even tolerance. I think this modern movement to professionalize the ministry of spiritual direction should be resisted in whatever form it takes. So I'd distance myself from any such commercializations of this precious, ancient, and sacred ministry.

As for speaking with therapists ... could I take off on that one! I've refused to talk with therapists even when the directee has asked me to, on the basis that I must protect the confidentiality of the relationship even if the directee doesn't! Instead, I would offer to assist directees in prayer and reflection on what THEY might be invited to discuss with their therapist about their spiritual lives.

And as to getting permission from therapists, what in the world does that communicate about the role of spiritual direction? If anyone need ask permission, it should be the therapist! And of course they'd be asking the permission of the directee, not of the director.

I've battled this professionalization long and hard, and I sure haven't won-nor will I. It reminds me of what the clinical pastoral movement went through; how it wound up losing its spiritual grounding entirely in favor of "being professional." Only now is it beginning to recover a slight sense of its true nature. I battled that movement too, to no avail.

Such are the ways of the world, I guess. I'm afraid this professionalization is going to continue, and as it does, it will create some major distortions of spiritual direction. Perhaps those distortions will be of some help for some people; I hope so. I pray they will not damage people's spiritual lives by making them think their souls are some kind of object to be fixed or made more efficient. Meanwhile, I guess real spiritual direction, the honored companionship of the tradition, will stay where it always has: on the outskirts, out of the mainstream, in quiet and humility.

You probably neither expected nor wanted such a tirade from me, but you did ask! I wish you all grace in your own prayer and wisdom as you discern what your responses should be.

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Dear Jerry: I am overjoyed at your reply. I woke up more than once during the night praying about it as I dropped off to sleep again. I had decided not to comply with the signed "Covenant" and naming the directees. But I wondered if I was simply willful, obstinate and/or stubborn. Your message gives me a light of freedom. I was so excited, I had to make a special effort to quiet myself so I could read today's lessons.

Thanks again for the support and peace you've given me. You should write an article for the Shalem paper on this subject.

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Hi, Chris: I wrote an article years ago for a larger publication, but the consensus was that it was too aggressive. So I toned it down, and it came out in the Shalem News as "Varieties of Spiritual Companionship." It's on the web site at http://www.shalem.org/sn/22.1gm.html

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Jerry: I wrote the two people in charge, expressing my concerns and got affirming replies. I am not going to be drummed out of the corps. They are willing to accept a maverick like me. I am going to accept their offer to continue to be one of the adjunct spiritual directors while maintaining my own style. Thanks so much for continuing to be a guide for me.