by Carole A. Crumley

"My vocation is to be in touch with God and to be in touch with people's deep experience-connecting with people on an immediate personal level and pointing toward God."

"My role is to help people work with their life as their spiritual practice through prayer and awareness."

"My core spiritual vocation is to be a person of prayer, open to growth and transformation; to be a spiritual mentor to others; to be a steward of and celebrant of sacraments."

I was listening to clergy across the country talk about their calling, their sense of their core spiritual vocation. As a priest with over 20 years of experience in ordained ministry, I had never before had this kind of conversation with other clergy. It was profoundly moving to hear colleagues speak from the depths of their experience, their personal struggle to be faithful to their calling.

These conversations were part of Shalem's research project into the ongoing spiritual formation needs of clergy. The project was initiated by a graduate of Shalem's Spiritual Guidance Program who sees several clergy as part of her spiritual direction ministry. As she prayed with and for these clergy, she began to feel the nudging of the Spirit to look deeper. She began to ask questions:  How are clergy nourished spiritually throughout the lifetime of their ministry? What support is needed? What really helps? She turned to Shalem with the questions and, with her husband, gave us money for a project to explore them.

Clergy have always participated in our programs, we said, but perhaps there is something more that God is wanting us to see or know or do. And so we spent this last year assessing Shalem's programmatic efforts as they relate to clergy, looking selectively into other continuing education programs for clergy and reviewing literature relevant to this subject. Yet the heart of our exploration was a series of interviews with clergy themselves. Here are some excerpts from those interviews.


What gets in the way of living and ministering from your spiritual core?

"The biggest struggle is to be with God in myself...to take more time for myself away from doing, to say 'no.' There is so much affirmation for doing and working late and coming in on one's day off. It is very hard to continue to take the time for myself and God."

"Busyness gets in the way. It takes patience to simply be with people. I am amazed at how appreciative people are at my 'being there.' It is not so much the answers we give, but the real teaching is how we are present and let the Spirit work. The temptation is to  try to be something more. And it is a powerful temptation."

"Fears and attachments, and demons get in the way. I feel overly  responsible, driven, worried."

"My own forgetfulness about whose work it is gets in the way."

"The Spirit moves or calls us into seminary. Then it gets beaten out of us. Then we develop a professional relation-ship with God. We need to move away from the professional to the personal relationship with God. It is scary to do this. There is fear that there won't be anything there after all. We are giving up well-honed defenses and skills, giving up the known for the Unknown. It is a lot harder to live with Mystery than with answers."


What helps you live from that place of your deepest sense of calling?

"What helps most is a regular disciplined time of silence and reflection, but it's easy to let this slide."

"Colleagues whom I can trust and be with in times of quiet."

"A core of people in the congregation or diocese who have the same vision of parish life."

"The staff at Shalem and Shalem programs."

"I go one day a month to a retreat center, spend the night in the hut in the woods, meet with a spiritual director."

"I have been part of a spiritual support group that has met once a month for the last two years. We follow the group spiritual direction format in Rose Mary Dougherty's book."

"Reading is rewarding, refreshing, recreative."

"Worship is very sustaining."

As I listened to their practices, I realized again that there are many ways of staying grounded in God and of opening to the ever-flowing wellspring of new life in the Spirit. Although the ways were different, their answers reflected a clear and consistent pattern:

• the importance of daily spiritual practice
• the importance of communal support that is most effective when it includes:
• some kind of small contemplative prayer and sharing group within the congregation
• a similar group outside the congregation
• other spiritual friendships, especially a spiritual director; kindred souls who share a similar vision, values and sense of church
• the importance of retreats, quiet days, Sabbath, sabbaticals.

The pattern is clear, yet it is still a challenge to develop and sustain a spiritual practice. One interviewee finally confessed, "I think most of us know what we need to do. We just need support in doing it." Perhaps one thing God is wanting us to see and know is that Shalem's programs already offer an important resource for the spiritual lives and leadership of clergy. We have a long history of supporting folks in developing and sustaining a spiritual practice, finding spiritual community and soul friends, participating in retreats and quiet days.

During the next year, we will explore ways of enriching some of our offerings to include additional time for clergy to find inspiration, imagination and ongoing encouragement from one another. We also are beginning to imagine some new ways of supporting clergy in their desire for spiritual deepening. These ideas are still developing as we continue to listen to the Spirit. Most importantly, we have received a generous grant which will provide partial scholarships for clergy during our 25th Anniversary Year! These will be for extension programs and overnight events such as retreats and pilgrimages. First preference will be given to congregational clergy, but other clergy are welcome to apply. Call the Shalem office for more information.

I hope that my clergy friends and colleagues will receive this article as an invitation by the Spirit to refresh the spirit as well as encouragement to find the support we all need for the journey.

Taken from a Clergy Spiritual Deepening Project.