by Johanna Greene

"No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven."  (Matt 5:15-16)

I often speak of "blessings on my journey." Such a blessing has been my calling, which also evolved into my avocation--pastoral ministry to individuals and groups. It has become like a light in these maturing years of my life. This light has shone in many places and now is to emit its rays at Shalem, which I describe to my friends as a serene place for study and spiritual enrichment and whose staff is most congenial as guides and encouragers, a blessing I almost missed. For it was on a Thursday afternoon, in March 1996, that Rose Mary Dougherty and I met to discuss my joining the Shalem  program staff.

Time was not a problem, for I had left Georgetown University Protestant Campus Ministry responsibilities, which had required a major segment of available time, and my varied activities at Metropolitan African Methodist Episcopal Church and our fledgling sister church, Calvary, were not all-consuming. Also the schedule as outlined would not deny me quality time with my family. I felt prepared by my seminary training, completion of Shalem's Group Leaders Program and my many years of experience in religious programming and ministry in my faith tradition. Yet I was reluctant to commit to coming on staff at Shalem.

My reluctance revolved around a sociological concern as to whom I am to serve in ministry. I question whether my energies should be used solely in my community or be shared again with a broader, all-inclusive community. I suppose this concern stems from the social and economic deprivation and needs in Black communities as well as the accompanying needs for spiritual healing and my sensitivity regarding my initiatives in these situations. Then there are always those thoughts on the real possibilities of rejection by the wider community. After relating these concerns to Rose Mary, she asked me to think more about the offer and call her. Later when I called and told her that I would come, she asked what made me change my mind. Why did I choose to come to Shalem?

I do not remember how I responded then to that question, but since that time, this decision (as some others) was cause for reflection. Why? Why? Is there a solid answer? While my thoughts constantly revolve around the social issues of my country and more closely those of my community, I inevitably return to "my calling, the divine light in my life," what it is and what it requires.

The illumination of this created energy is not just for me but through my knowledge and drive to give to others. Paul says, "we have this treasure in earthen vessels, to show that the transcendent power belongs to God and not to us" (2 Cor 4:7). All that I do is not of my own but the power of God through me. To fear the responsibility or to limit access is to fail in my obedience to go where God sends and to do as Jesus bid. Jesus was specific. The lamp is to give light to all even in the times in which we now live where polarization is this country's theme of the day and it is easy not to love those who hate you. People speak of a united America, of togetherness, but for many, circumstances and situations, as well as attitudes and behavior, nullify the intent.

The historic situation of African Americans opens them to vulnerability. I am one among them. I often feel much the way W.E.B. Dubois described in The Souls of Black Folk, "two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder." Yet I realize I have something to share with the wider community, for I have been guided and encouraged in ecumenism by such outstanding persons as Dr. Cheryl Sanders, my Christian Ethics professor at Howard University, Dr. Wilhelmina Lawrence, a deceased mentor and an historic womanist leader in the African Methodist Episcopal Church and the World Federation of Methodist Women, and others whom I have read or with whom I have shared in personal conversations.

Further, I believe that the invitation to be an associate of Shalem is the result of the Holy Spirit working through individuals to further guide me on my journey of spiritual formation and sharing. Am I not to hear the summons? As far back as l985, the Holy Spirit had been leading me to Shalem, first through the counsel of Dr. Edward Bauman, then Pastor of Foundry Methodist Church, which led to an introductory group and later encouragement by a seminary colleague to explore more fully the offerings of Shalem--all before the commitment to the Group Leaders Program. I believe all of this just as it has happened was God's way of telling me to be mindful of my calling and to keep me on track. Had not Jesus, in speaking to the disciples told them not to put their lights under bushel baskets but let them shine out before others?

Being with Shalem is part of my witness; this work, too, is my calling. It is not denying attention to my community, for I serve there; it is sharing something of my culture with others. I bring to Shalem my gifts of love, healing and service for the common good. Additionally, it is an opportunity for experiencing the blending of rich faiths and cultural traditions. Shalem's doors are open for study and worship to the wider community including African Americans; knowledge of my presence at Shalem may encourage my sisters and brothers interested in contemplative spiritual enrichment to feel more welcome. God wants no distinction made in whom will share in God's glory or kingdom. To those who acknowledge the family of God and the oneness in Christ, "from one blood, many nations and people come." If there are those who reject the light that shines through me because of whom I am, they remain in darkness. This is my witness, this is my call! The lamp is lit--it gives light to those who use it. I travel to Shalem with joyful expectancy, being open to the Spirit for still richer meaning in my life.